I realized today that I have a pandemic problem of sorts, I like to write in busy places, where eclectic people gather. Usually these places entail coffee, because coffee shops also have free wifi internet, which shockingly Al Gore did not invent. The problem is I don't want black coffee, I want the good stuff. I want candy coffee. It's delicious and, according to Wired Magazine, coffee has an ingredient that kills cavities. So besides being good, I now feel I have ample justification to say it is good for me as well.
I used to think that writing was pretty simply. My idea was that writing involved sitting in an apartment, usually in your underwear, watching TV until one felt inspired by something and then one would write about said inspiring something.
I wish this were the case, or at least I wish that my inspirational did not cost a cup of candy coffee. Really, it doesn't. I just say it does because it gives me an excuse to sit in a coffee shop and watch interesting people, someone right now is making out with someone else. The dude...I assume boyfriend or maybe secret mister (I assume secret mister is the male form of secret mistress), walks into coffee shop. The girl unassumingly sitting on a stool staring at her computer is intently staring, I mean this is not the typical, "I'm working stare", this is more like, "If Jesus comes back and people are screaming I would have no idea Armageddon was even happening because I'm so intent upon my work" type stare. She is oblivious to his arrival. He is behind her. Then he spots her and like a cougar, which attack from behind their victims according to Bear Grills, lunges at her, grabs her and promptly begins a 15 minute make out session. After which finishes, he packs up her computer and escorts her out of the coffee shop. I wink at him (really I did, but sadly did not get any response)...I know what happens next. Have a good night coffee porn couple.
My point is that when you follow something or do something you truly enjoy or even spend time with people you really enjoy spending time with, you never really know how it is all going to turn out. There's risk involved, there's cost involved. Often, when it comes to things, people, passions that you love it's worth the cost and risk.
I am thinking about this because I had a conversation with this kid from a bad background. He and I were talking about life and he stated that it wasn't worth the risk of really getting to know people because it seemed the reward was heartbreak. That's a really sucky way to live. I mean, honestly, I used to live like that. It was sad. Luckily I had really good friends that constantly pulled me away from that thinking. My friends Keith and Zach in Colorado, Brandon in Illinois, and Jerry in Iowa were some of those people. I would tell them I didn't want to be myself around them because I was afraid they wouldn't like me. They told me I was an idiot and to get over myself. I am still working on that. You can ask some of my close friends who really know me.
Seriously though, the reality is that over a quarter, that's 1 out of every 4, of students in college come from broken homes. This also means that a lot of us out of college also come from some sort of broken homes. Sometimes this means that we grow up without trust in relationships or others that seem instilled in people at an early age. However, I hold that most of that thinking and the actions that result as a consequence of such thinking are just copouts for an unwillingness to attempt something that potentially has risk. I told him that, "Monkeys can dress up and do what he does. Honestly, a monkey could go to class for him, get the same grades as him, and fail out like him." But if he really wanted to try and risk the failure then he was becoming the man he wanted to be. And even if he failed, he could get back up and try again. He left my office to go and actually study or maybe just grab a beer and think. It's funny because my own comments made me think too. I give good advice, but probably should be careful about calling students monkeys.
From my experience, there are a whole lot of people who are unwilling to take risks. They would rather opt for the security of what they know, rather than the possibility of what could be. It's kind of sad, I think, because you never really experience the fullness of life. On the other hand, when you have been hurt over and over and over, well, I think I might get tired of putting myself out there too. All the more reason that good friends are important- those people who can tell you what you need to hear but also show you what you need to see in a friend.
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