Following Dreams and Making Change

I love working on a college campus. The other day as I walked past the main entrance of the campus on my way to an office I passed a construction truck. The truck was sitting waiting for a goose to cross the street, which sounds like the start of a joke. Instead of honking his horn the driver, a young bearded man donning a red hat rolled down the window, leaned out and began quacking. I wondered, as I chuckled if this man really believed that he could persuade the goose to move more quickly across the street through quacking or if the man legitimately thought he could speak goose. I watched as I walked, knowing that as a university employee it might be a bad example to stop and stare at the man. It dawned on me though that this man may have very well just been entertaining himself while working, driving his truck to and fro with its heavy loads. I felt slightly bad for judging him as crazy.

A few steps later I narrowly passed a student who was dancing to his music. His mouth was moving slightly speaking the words while his legs and body were moving to the rhythm of the beat. He smiled at the words and danced his way off to what I assume to be his next class. I chuckled, as I turned and watched him dance away, smiling at the thought that he was happy.

I thought about how I want to live a big life, a life that makes people smile. There's songs that talk about dancing through life, specifically I think that's from the musical "Wicked", but I thought about how fun it looks to dance through life. I know there are ups and downs but the thought of living a passionate existence, wading through the muck and mire of everyday life is a thought that is truly exhilarating. The thought has stayed with me as I've stopped writing for the last couple of months. I stopped because I wanted to change from negative to positive. I stopped because writing stopped being my dream and started to be a duty.

Today I'm typing because I realized that writing makes me smile. Forming a thought into a coherent sentence, making that sentence a readable thought that could possibly embed into someone's soul is an awesome challenge that I truly believe could change the world. Working with students makes me smile. Just like talking to students, watching them follow their dreams makes my eyes light up and my heart fill. I apologize if this sounds sappy and sentimental, but the reality is that what I wanted and what I needed were right in front of me. I realized that I could not teach others to follow their dreams if I was not following my own. I would not tell others how to make change in their lives if I was not willing to change my own life.

This was hard to swallow. So before I wrote another word, before I finished another sentence. I made some changes. I looked at moving back to a state where I felt safe and comfortable. I thought about quitting my job and walking away completely from my current university and city. But ultimately I decided that I needed to stay in that city because leaving would be the safe choice, even though it sounds more radical. Following my dreams does not mean running away to the safe harbor, it means wading through the muck and mire to find the joy in doing what makes you come alive. My city was not the issue, I actually really like my current city. In the end I switched my position to a job that allows me more one on one student interaction, which I love. But you know what, ultimately I know that even that is not the issue. The issue lies in changing perspective, in finding what you are good at, what you are made to do and then throwing yourself into it.

I may or may not be a good writer. Hell, this may or may not make sense, maybe it seems like I'm a guy trying to get a goose to cross the road by quacking like a duck. But I know two things: I love writing and I love helping people. Maybe by removing the safe road I have allowed myself to make real positive change in my own life and opened up more of an opportunity to follow my dreams. At least I know this, while typing this in a crowded coffee shop while looking at a skyline, I'm dancing in my seat and it's not because I have to use the bathroom. It's because I'm confident this is right.