My friend imed, or is im'd, me today. He told me rather bluntly that I was supposed to update my blog more than once a week. I told him that I didn't want people to get tired of hearing from me. I mean what if I run out of ideas? What if I just sound annoying and/or whiny? Then the little box that says followers would decrease by at least 10% and I would have no one to share this with, except myself. This would be sad. I would cry, maybe not cry, maybe just frown.
And this leads me to my thoughts to write:
There's so much of me that comes up with great ideas of what to do, but fears actually doing them. I fear of all the possibilities falling apart at my feet. I fear my dreams lying on the ground in the form of broken shards of glass. A mirror shattered. I fear that one day I'll look down on those pieces. I'll pick up a shard, a triangle, just big enough piece to see my eyes. I will look into the eyes reflected back to me and see the dreams that I have never completed because they were never attempted. I will put the broken dream down and walk away, slowly letting the spark that the possibilities created dim from my eyes.
I started a blog, but what if I didn't write in it again. Just started it because I wouldn't know where it would go...of where I would go with it. I started a book, but what if I just stopped and didn't complete it for fear of who would read it, or better who wouldn't read it. I started writing, but what if I stopped before anyone could tell me I was good, or wasn't.
The reality is that the fear of what I won't accomplish will only help me accomplish nothing. Maybe for today...I should update my own blog. I should add a chapter to my book. I should email a literary publicist with my book proposal. I should face my fear and see what happens.
Fear stops us from achieving our full potential. I was backpacking with my brother once on the Appalachian Trail at the beginning of January. We were walking between these giant oak trees during the early morning. The sun just rising, shining through low clouds that linger all day. As we hiked to a peak, over a rough and worn out trail my brother looked me square in the eyes and said, "99% of the people never live to their full potential." I guess at the end of the day, I hope to part of the 1% that he considers having reached full potential. I guess I'll never know till I actually try.
So here's to trying. Here's to, "I should." What's your "I should..."?
Sometimes blogging can be tiresome and it is as simple as that. Sometimes it is refreshing. I tried to write in my blog all the time at first and then I realized that I wasn't doing it for me but because other people expected it. So now I just write in my blog when the mood strikes me, I need a good SAHE type reflection time or I need to spill out emotion in a healthy way. Blog as you will my friend! Hope North Carolina is good!
ReplyDeleteHere's to both of us becoming part of the 1%
ReplyDelete